Sunday, August 4, 2013

Pennsic 42: The Gnome

One of our typical ways to spend an evening while at Pennsic is to head on down to the Coldwood/Freehold encampment and hang out with our friends there. Just sitting by the fire, chatting, having a beverage or two... it's a great way to relax and really unwind.
One night this Pennsic, I indulged in a few more beverages than usual, as did Asgar. When Dalla, Arnbjorn and I decided to head home, Asgar decided to head along with us and continue his night over the hill at some party or other. We resolved to walk as far as the merchant area with him before heading up to the Highlands and going to bed.
As we were walking up the street, we came upon a party that had spilled into the street right near the Dark Moon camp. There were people on both sides of the street, and a small knot in the middle who were all very boisterous (and more than a little drunk). Into the middle of this we strolled. The ringleader walked up to me, and said "To pass... you must either skip... or thumb wrestle the gnome!"
I was not intimidated by this challenge, and said boldly "Show me your gnome!!!"
The gnome came forth. He was obviously on steroids... either that or had been cross bred with a mountain gorilla. Not your happy little Travelocity gnome, this... he was huge, and looked spoiling tor a good solid thumb breaking.
"I... SHALL SKIP!!!" I announced.
And skip I did... I skipped like a boss down the gauntlet of party goers, stopping at the end of the crowd to thunderous applause.
Asgar came next... though his skipping took on a bit more of a bawdy tone... a bit more shimmy and pelvic thrust than your standard skip. While he was doing this, the man running the show came up to Dalla and repeated... "Will you skip... or thumb wrestle the gnome!"
Dalla tentatively said, "Um,...skip??"
I intervened... running up, I said "Wait! Wait! I have an idea!!!"
Dalla took off like a shot, running down the road at top speed.
She didn't just run... as she ran, she was crying "Run! Run faster!!!" She continued till she realized that she was well beyond the end of the party, and there were a couple of women looking at her oddly. She collected herself, and said to them...
"You haven't met the gnome."
And then she walked on.

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